Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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