I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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