I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
