And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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