he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
