Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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