there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Ladies don't puke and tell
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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