She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
false alarm. still invincible.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
