check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have already put on my inside pants.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"