don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.