It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole