I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
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I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.