By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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