i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
