I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
