Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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