If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
pop tarts are not kleenex
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm at about main and main street
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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