New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
COCAINE IS GR8
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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