A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
