It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
