i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
