I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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