Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
