I hate your face
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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