Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
