Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
