can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Randomize
