How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
