New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
