Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
