You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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