this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
