Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
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This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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