if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
