Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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