just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize