We got so high we made milksteak
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
