everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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