he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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