Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
