oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
