I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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