i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Randomize
