I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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