I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
