Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
