You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
