Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
