State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
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So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
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He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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