nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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