Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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