all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize