I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
