That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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