he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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