why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
