He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
