Pappa wants mamma naked
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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