The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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