and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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