You were right. It hurts to walk today.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
