YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
