I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
