a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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